Man, been a rough couple of days. Made sure to kiss my kids goodbye every time I left the house, not knowing if I’d see ’em again.
(By Eve Hinson, originally written in an email to a close friend on 12.24.2010)
Got tremors so bad Jim said I made Michael J. Fox look like a brain surgeon. Couldn’t walk w/o my cane and support from a human. Couldn’t drive. Almost wrecked three times before I clued in it was my head blanking out w/o warning.
On disability right now for six months. They looked for tumors, ms, als, stroke, brain bleeds. You name it.
Had me on Valium to try and stop the tremors, but that didn’t work and kept me awake. Ugh, too much shit to go into more. But glad to be home again.
Doctor said this drug is reversible. I just have to give it time. Have an appt for the neuro in the next week I think.
To think they put me on it for the pain they couldn’t explain except for maybe fibromyalgia.
Well, I sure did wish I was there. I’m on disability for the next six months … will take some time to sort out what’s this med and what’s the RA.
Went on the med last month because of the pain of the RA and the RA meds not working good enough. I need a different doctor — I’ve felt this one is tossing pills at me and now see what happened?
I told her time and again, my body reacts oddly to meds and we have to be careful. The valium, wakes me up but takes the edge off some of the worst tremors.
. . . I have wayyyyyy to much to do in life for this to be done. Fuck that.
I was thinking of you a lot, maybe that’s what you picked up on. Was waiting to share more until I knew wtf was going on. You have enough going on.
I have a book to write — today I noticed my brain is clearer. On day two w/o those meds. So hoping that comes back first .. rational thought and speaking in sentences that make sense.
I think the last time I was at your house was the last day, or close to it, that I drove. Almost wrecked the car on the way home. Brain shutdown w/o warning. When I can drive again, you bet I’ll be there on Thursdays.
LOVE you so much. SOOOOO much.
Evolution of Eve | Rediscovering life then and exploring the now
By Eve Hinson, Badass Founder & Contributor | @badassactivist | Facebook | Instagram | Pinterest | Tumblr
Memory loss, scattered focus, inability to track time, and an ill-known stigmatized neurological disorder, plus PTSD symptoms, have erased or complicated recall of Eve’s first 37 years of life.
Now in her mid-40s, Eve is Autistic AF and left with a brain that doesn’t include filters (she says fuck. a lot), likes to glitch and, after the memory wipe, created a new personhood. Eve is different to those who’ve known her from childhood. She is unknown even to herself and seeking to learn about her life from back then, and embracing life now.
This series focuses on self-discovery after the onset of severe mental illness, memory loss and permanent disability. It’s a different life and a worthy life.
Contact Eve | firstname.lastname@example.org
Badass Activist YouTube Channel | The OG