The Autistic Man

An Aspergian's Chemical Romance

WAMTAC

No one considers

The plight of man

The autistic man

Cunning but curious

At the things he must do

To feel such emotion

Power and powerlessness

In the palm on control

He never knew

We grow up as outcasts

Because we don’t know

How to play

Special interests dominate

What we think, do

And say

Selfish we must be

To put out of our minds

Everything

Except for this magical thing

We cannot seem

To do without

Our posture is funny

As is our fashion sense

The way we hold our hands

Or stare into the crowds

We may be silent

But in ignorance of our presence

Breaking normality

We speak loud

Growing up takes a toll

No friends in school

Or very, very few

Unable to be ourselves

Or else attacked

By you

Who don’t recognize

The beauty

In neurological difference

The possibility

With our magic

Exponentially endless

But…

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6 comments

  1. Thank you for your insightful thoughts.
    I have a beautiful and brilliant 2.5 year old, who mostly doesn’t speak and never to strangers… yet a few persistent strangers always seem to take it personally and continue to press him with questions “how are you today?” “Having a fun day with mom?” “How old are you?”
    My question is what do I do or say? I usually either offer up answers for us both “we’re doing great!” Or “he is 2.5” or I just let them wait for an answer that isn’t coming until they feel awkward and end the conversation .
    I somehow do not feel right saying to the stranger “he is non-verbal” it seems dismissive of my son and labelling and just rude.. am I wrong? What would my son want me to do or say?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hmmm, I’ve not had 2 not talking kids at 2.5 and am trying to remember what I did — your kiddo is a toddler – they don’t do stuff typical in greetings anyways. My oldest would stare another direction, overwhelmed by the interaction. Even as an infant and the expected responses didn’t happen even then – well what others expected anyhow. I have a strict rule with my kiddos and folks – if you dont want a hug or kiss or to shake hands, you don’t have to. That’s a body boundary and you get to say no, no thank you and if needed yell No Touch. Everybody must respect another;s body boundaries- including grandparents. Your son is doing exactly what he wants to or can manage with interactions. I taught my kiddos to wave a greeting hello. The poem here is written by An Aspergian’s Chemical Romance. https://marylandpoetblog.wordpress.com/2017/10/21/the-autistic-man/ — D. might have a response as well.

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    • Also to note, being Autistic means verbal language (like English) is a second language. Your child has a language, perhaps right now only they understand. Learning to speak English is like learning to speak a 2nd language without a first. I’m visual — all my language is visual and must be translated on incoming and output. Your child’s brain is doing extraordinary things for a neurotypical — most likely a typical autistic 🙂 and my experience is Autistic kids timelines are nothing like NT kiddos timelines and comparing them isn’t a fair assessment. Talk, potty train, do other stuff at different times, but what the brain is doing now in other areas — just let your kiddo lead you on interactions ❤

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  2. Thank you so much!! This is a really amazing resource for me right now, the normal advice I’m getting from others seems extreme and rigid. It’s amazing to have people who truly understand, explain a little bit to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Bwahahh, you can say fuck in my house but you say the word normal all hell breaks loose. Worst word evah 😉 Autism is not what people think — lived experience changes everything. Blows me away the advice NT parents are given to raise their kids and the worries and drama over changing diapers a couple more years (our brains develop at different rates because their developing non-typical areas). It’s my belief that comparing an autistic development/growth chart to a NT growth/development chart is utter BS. So with 70 million of us worldwide — what is our typical development ages and stages cycles? I’ve never met an Autistic kiddo potty trained at a similar time of an NT child. Never. My experience is you watch for your child’s readiness signs and work with it — neurologically they might even be close to ready at two to do this — so if an Autistic starts later on this area of development, this would be a typical Autistic kiddo. Being non-verbal at 2 and three doesn’t mean squat as an adult. It’s not even an indicator if spoken language won’t ever be used. Those of us who use english verbal words and those who don’t have the same expressions at toddler ages in my experience. And language like that is such a brain process and utterly different task load than when I use ASL (sign language). That language doesn’t hurt my brain for translation. Haven’t used it a lot in the past 20 years and working on getting back into the culture/community/visual language locally and my new hubby is going to start learning so we can use it as an adaptive language when I can mouth words out and become non-verbal myself
      .

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